About
Hi. As a citizen of the USA raised for thirteen years in Nigeria, I’m an adult Third Culture Kid (TCK) — that is, I, like many others, was raised for a significant portion of my childhood outside my parents’ culture. My father, children, and first grandchild are TCKs as well.
My life has been a rich one, filled with great diversity. It’s very richness, however, kept me from understanding the significance of the losses a cross-cultural lifestyle filled with high mobility also includes. The loss of a home, country and land which which I dearly loved but weren’t officially mine and repeated separations from family and friends left me with unrecognized, and thus unresolved, grief.
At the age of thirty-nine, I began journaling, trying to understand the full impact of my childhood. Eventually this journaling became Letters I Never Wrote , later re-published as Letters Never Sent. Through that, I not only looked at my story, but I’ve met and interacted with countless TCKs and adult TCKs (ATCKs) of all backgrounds and nationalities as well.
Since 1984, I’ve been writing and speaking on this and other topics, including the book I co-authored with Dave Pollock, Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds. This book , gives the history of the topic, the TCK Profile Dave developed which describes the benefits and challenges of the TCK experience, and many chapters on how parents and others involved with TCKs can help them maximize their gifts and grow from the challenges. These basic issues we discuss relate to TCKs from every background — be they military, international business, foreign service, or missionary kids.
But now it’s time to move on.
Through the years, countless people have contacted me after seminars, via email, or by phone saying they relate to the TCK profile, but did not have the same experience of going into another culture with their parents due to a parent’s career choice. They ask if they are or are not “official TCKs”?
When Dave and I first wrote Third Culture Kids, we said it was possible to have a TCK experience without leaving your home culture or in other situations such as refugees, although we focused our discussion on those who had made international moves.
Because the world is becoming increasingly complex, it seems time to bring new language to bear on the discussion of how a cross-cultural childhood—for ANY reason—along with the mobility inherent in our world is affecting children of many backgrounds. To do that, I, along with my friend, Paulette Bethel, would like to propose a new term for this discussion: Cross-Cultural Kid (CCK).
Our research is just beginning but we are delighted to have the conversation start. We know there is much wisdom from many of you “out there” and hope you will join us in this dialog.
Hope you find this conversation as helpful and as interesting as we are finding it!
Dear Ruth,
I am not sure if you will see this message, but I just wanted to say hi as it makes me feel connected to you. I have heard a lot about you through your work with David Pollock especially having read the Third Culture Kids 1st Edition. I am a CCK from Scotland, but having grown up as a missionary kid in Belgium, Holland, England and DR Congo. I am now bringing up my own CCKs in Uganda and work with others to help give them a smoother transition back to their home cultures.
Thanks for the resources and helpful articles!
David
I recently spoke at a conference about the added challenges MK abuse survivors can face in their healing journeys because they are TCKs. Afterward a middle aged woman came up to me and said, “So much of what you explained resonated with me. I did missions trips to Central America as a teenager and then moved there to work in my twenties. I guess I’m kind of a TCK.” I later learned she was a psychologist but she had never thought through how her world view was so influenced by those experiences as a teen and young adult. I think Cross Cultural Kid would describe her, and others like her, so much better than the TCK label. However, for those of us who have that third culture – not our parents’, not the one we grew up in, not a blend of the two – TCK may still be the best way to describe us.
[…] Ruth Van Reken is a second-generation adult Third Culture Kid (TCK) who coined the term CCK. According to Ruth Van Reken and her website, CCKs are people who have lived or experienced two or more cultural environments in their developmental years (first 18 years of life). CCKs typically become more culturally mobile by interpreting several cultures, experiencing hidden diversity and visual diversity. Depending on CCKs experiences, they may also become an expatriate (expat) because they leave their native country to live elsewhere. […]
Hi, My name is Leah and I am hoping someone here might know of a TCK therapist that works via Skype with young adults. My 23 year old daughter would like to talk to someone who can understand her background (moved internationally several times). I am trying to help her find someone. She is on East Coast USA time. Thank you leahjune05@yahoo.com
Very good article. I am experiencing some of these issues as well..
Ruth, I first read your book, Letters I Never Wrote in 1986 after hearing you speak at Tab Church in Norfolk, VA. I went on to teach MK’s in Papua New Guinea, I am rereading the book again and enjoying it just as much today. My family lives in Norfolk and still attends Tabernacle. I have contacts with many TCK who are now adults and appreciate your insight. Tab still has a strong missions emphasis and I remember your family visiting and speaking at church.
Dear Ruth Van Reken
My name is Gali Weinreb and I am the science and healthcare technologies correspondent for the Globes newspaper in Israel.
I would like to write a magazine article about third culture kids for our paper and was wondering if you would like to.interview with us.
Israeli third culture kids are usually those who spend 2-3 years in an English speaking country a few times in their childhood. We also have cross cultural kids who have to work in a secular environment after growing up in very different religious settings (more different even than another country).
I would love to hear from you about the effects of these changes on the psychology and culture of the adults who were these children, and maybe also see how modern technology on one hand and Covid on the other have affected what in means to be a third culture kid.
Thanks you very much in advance!
Gali
[…] About […]
I have just recently come upon your name. Though I haven’t yet read your books. I can relate to your experience. I am a grown up TCK. My parents were missionaries in Cameroun. When I was very young we spent two years in France learning French and then seven years in Cameroun before relocating to the States. I was 14 when we came back. Though I’m sure my memory has blotted out some bad things I only remember a glorious childhood and really no issues fitting in to New York City. I do know I used to get into trouble in high school correcting my French teachers. I knew the language better than they did abd they didn’t appreciate being shown up! Happy to talk to you if you wish.
Is Dr. Ruth Hill Useem the same person as Ruth Van Reken? I am researching TCK and CCK. Can someone please help clarify? thank you!
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Hi Ruth
Not sure if you will see this message but I wanted to thank you for writing this book. A friend of mine mentioned it to me, and it was such an eye opener being a ATCK myself. Wish I had read it when I was still a kid growing up. Thank you.
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